- “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
- “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” – Carrie Snow
- “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” – Cindy Crawford
- “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.” – Laurence J. Peter
- “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” – Unknown
- “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” – Arnold Haultain
- “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton
- “Women are always beautiful.” – Ville Valo
- “The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” – Ellery Queen
- “Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.” – Mae West
- “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” – Nicole Hollander
- “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” – Unknown
- “Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.” – Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly
- “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey Mitchell Depew
- “The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” – Elizabeth Metcalf
- “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine K. Albright
- “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde
- “There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” – Harold Robbins
- “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” – Unknown
- “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” – Quentin Crisp
- “The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.” – Germaine Greer
- “Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.” – Ovid
- “Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ‘em to match the men.” – George Eliot, “The Harvest Supper”, Adam Bede
- “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields
- “Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.” – Doctor Leon
- “If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” – Sydney J. Harris
- “There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.” – Alexandre Dumas
- “Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.” – Robert Brault
- “He who angers you conquers you.” – Elizabeth Kenny
- “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Unknown
- “Anger is one letter short of danger.” – Unknown
- “Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.” – Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
- “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” – Will Rogers
- “Never write a letter while you are angry.” – Chinese Proverb
- “Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell
- “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” – Bede Jarrett
- “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966
- “In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.” – Mark Twain
- “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Malachy McCourt
- “Take no revenge that you have not pondered beneath a starry sky, or on a canyon overlook, or to the lapping of waves and the mewing of a distant gull.” – Robert Brault
- “If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot.” – Korean Proverb
- “Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger.” – Chinese Proverb
- “Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.” – Albert Einstein
- “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” – George Jean Nathan
- “Anger is short-lived madness.” – Horace
- “Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” – George Eliot
- “Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” – Lyman Abbott
- “Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.” – Robert G. Ingersoll
- “Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” – Unknown
- “Next time you’re mad, try dancing out your anger.” – Sweetpea Tyler
- “Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along.” – Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
- “Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.” – James Fallows
- “At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” – Marshall B. Rosenberg
- “Anger and folly walk cheek by jole.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” – Lemony Snicket
- “I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.” – Unknown
- “Can anger survive without his hypocrisy?” – Jareb Teague
- “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha
- “Malice drinks one-half of its own poison.” – Seneca
- “Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him.” – Louis L’Armour
- “Never strike your wife – even with a flower.” – Hindu Proverb
- “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce
- “When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894
- “Anger is a bad counselor.” – French Proverb
- “Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.” – Neil Kinnock
- “The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong.” – Wilson Mizner
- “To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” – William H. Walton
- “The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” – Jacqueline Schiff
- “When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.” – Elbert Hubbard
- “Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.” – Marcus Antonius