Funny Work Quotes

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" – Edgar Bergen

"In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on – This person must be fired." – Conway’s Law

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work." – Robert Orben

"Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Garbage Back." – Garbage Truck

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it." – Theodore Roosevelt

"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without." – Unknown

"I am a friend of the workingman, I would rather be his friend than be one." – Clarence Darrow

"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit." – Dwight Morrow

"The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches." – Bove’s Theorem

"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire." – Cannon’s Law

"No project was ever completed on time and within budget." – Cheops Law "People are always available for work in the past tense." – Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour

"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." – Lane Kirkland

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There are so many fragile things…

“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily. So do dreams and hearts.” – Neil Gaiman

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18th Birthday Quotes

“From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.” – Sophie Tucker

“I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You’re young enough to get away with things, but you’re old enough, too.” – Liv Tyler

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.” – Albert Einstein

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War Quote of the Day

“Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.” – Donald Trump

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Children Quotes

- “We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” – Stacia Tauscher

- “You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P. Jones

- “In a dark moment I ask, "How can anyone bring a child into this world?"  And the answer rings clear, "Because there is no other world, and because the child has no other way into it."” – Robert Braul

- “I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring.” – Liz Armbruster

- “A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn’t act that way very often.” – Unknown

- “We’ve had bad luck with our kids – they’ve all grown up.” – Christopher Morley

- “A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.” - Unknown

- “Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” – Harold Hulbert

- “Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.” – William Stafford

- “The world is as many times new as there are children in our lives.” – Robert Brault

- “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” – Neil Postman, The Disappearance of Childhood (introduction), 1982

- “Children are one third of our population and all of our future.” – Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981

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Inspirational Quote of the Day

“If what you see by the eye doesn’t please you, then close your eyes and see from the heart. Because the heart can see beauty and love more than the eyes can ever wonder.” – Unknown

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Perfect Person Quote

“It’s not that I want to be with you because I think you’re a perfect person. I want to be with you because you’re the perfect person for me.” – Boy Meets Love

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Love of reading Quote

"We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading." – B. F. Skinner

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Funny Idiots Quotes

- "If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?" – Will Rogers

- "Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it." – Mark Twain

- "In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards." – Mark Twain

- "We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later." – Louis Aragon

- "We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do." – Stephen Colbert

- "There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot." – Scott Adams

- "Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest." – Alexandre Dumas

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Life’s Wisdom Quotes

“The greatest use of a life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” – Unknown

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” – Unknown

“We are not human beings on a Spiritual journey. We are Spiritual Beings on a human journey.” – Unknown

“Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.” – Samuel Butler

“All that is made seems planless to the darkened mind, because there are more plans than it looked for…There seems no plan because it is all plan: there seems no centre because it is all centre.” -George MacDonald

“An unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” – Henry David Thoreau

“He not busy being born is busy dying.” – Bob Dylan

“When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, that is when you command the attention of the world.” – George Washington Carver

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” – Vince Lombardi

“If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.” – Martin Luther King

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