Famous, Inspirational, Wisdom Quotes » Sports Quotes

Funny Sports Quotes

Grim_Cris — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:10:00 +0000

- “I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.” – Duffy Daugherty

- “On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.” – Lou Holtz

- “If hockey fights were fake, you would see me in more of them.” – Rod Gilbert

- “The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.” – Spider Lockhart

- “Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.” – Shug Jordan

- “You can observe a lot just by watching.” – Yogi Berra

- “They say a tie is like kissing your sister. I guess that is better than kissing your brother.” – Lou Holtz

- “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. I just can’t figure out where else to play!” – Pat Williams

- “I started out with nothing and I still have most of it” – Unknown

- “The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.” – Steve Sloan

- “I’d run over my mother to win the Super Bowl.” – Russ Grimm

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Kobe Bryant Quotes

Grim_Cris — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 09:22:26 +0000

- “Everyting negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.”
- “I dont want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be Kobe Bryant.”
- “I’ll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it’s sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot.”
- “I’m chasing perfection.”
- “My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group that will support you if you score zero or you score 40.”
- “There’s been a lot of talk of me being a one-man show but that’s simply not the case. We win games when I score 40 points and we’ve won when I score 10.”
- “These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.”

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Hilarious Basketball Quotes

Grim_Cris — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 15:42:26 +0000

- “I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.” – Dave Barry

- “Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.” – Shaquille O’Neal

- “The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about manic depression, she asked, ‘How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?’ A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, ‘A basketball coach?’” – Old Basketball Joke

- “Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It’s up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.” – Bill Walton

- “These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” – Charles Barkley

- “This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn’t have spectators.” – Dick Vertleib

- “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.” – Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice

- “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.” – Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

- “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?” – Woody Allen

- “I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.” – Shaquille O’Neal

- “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” – Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record in 1992

- “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.” – Weldon Drew

- “There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.” – Abe Lemons

- “We’re shooting 100 percent – 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.” – Norm Stewart

- “That’s a terrible defensive effort by Robert Horry. He didn’t even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score.”
Snapper: “Well, what do you expect? Earlier you said that Wallace could be one of the best players in the game, and now you want Robert Horry to guard him one-on-one?”
Bill: “No, I said that Rasheed could be the best player in the game.” – Bill Walton & Snapper Jones

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