Humor Quotes

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Grim Cris

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. – Edward Albee

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. – Frank Howard Clark

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. – Mohandas Gandhi

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. – Jennifer Jones

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. – Francis Bacon

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. – George Herbert

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. – Langston Hughes

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. – Emo Philips

Nothing is so galling to a people not broken in from the birth as a paternal, or in other words a meddling government, a government which tells them what to read and say and eat and drink and wear. – Thomas W. Higginson

One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you. – Larry Gelbart

Puns are a form of humor with words. – Guillermo Cabrera Infante

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. – W. C. Fields

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. – Jacob August Riis

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. – Peter De Vries

The secret to humor is surprise. – Aristotle

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. – Bill Cosby

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. – Thomas W. Higginson

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. – Robert Benchley

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. – Lin Yutang

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. – Bern Williams

50 Best Inspirational Quotes

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Grim Cris

1. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

2. “Act now. There is never any time but now, and there never will be any time but now.” – Wallace Wattles

3. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

4. “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering the attitudes of his mind.” – William James

5. “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin

6. “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

7. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” – Robert Frost

8. “You’ve got to win in your mind before you win in your life.” – John Addison

9. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

10. “An ounce of doing things is worth a pound of theorizing.” – Wallace Wattles

11. “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

12. “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” – Stephen Covey

13. “The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.” – Joseph Joubert

14. ”Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – Winston Churchill

15. “Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel Stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.” – Dara Henderson

16. “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

17. “Vision without action is just a dream, action without vision just passes the time, vision with action can change the world” – Nelson Mandela

18. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Eliot

19. “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

20. “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose yours.” – Paulo Coelho

21. “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” – John F. Kennedy

22. “I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” – James Joyce

23. “I have learned that it’s not WHAT I have in my life but WHO I have in my life that counts.” – Unknown

24. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

25. “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn

26. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci

27. “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” – Goethe

28. “It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined” – Henry James

29. “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

30. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

31. “Try not. Do or do not. There is no Try.” – Yoda (Star Wars!)

32. “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” – William Wallace

33. “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

34. “There are no limits on what you can achieve with your life, except the limits you accept in your mind” – Brian Tracy

35.“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

37. “When I thought I couldn’t go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck.” – Estee Lauder

38. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

39. “The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” – Tom Bodett

40. “Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso

41. “The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” – Mark Twain

42. “There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley

43. “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

44. “Nothing important was ever achieved without someone taking a chance.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

45. “I will go anywhere as long as it is forward.” – David Livingston

46. “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

47. “The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

48. “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas A. Edison

49. “Strive for progress, not perfection.” – Unknown

50. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

Best Quotes by Famous People

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Grim Cris

Give me a museum and I’ll fill it. – Pablo Picasso

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. – Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former – Albert Einstein

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. – George Burns

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. – Napoleon Bonaparte

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. – Voltaire

Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance. -Samuel Johnson

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Alva Edison

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. – John D. Rockefeller

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. – Albert Einstein

In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing. – Theodore Roosevelt

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on. – Robert Frost

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. – John F. Kennedy

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. – Seneca

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. – Honore de Balzac

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning – Aristotle Onassis

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. – M.K. Gandhi

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain

“The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” – Gloria Leonard

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. – Frank Lloyd Wright

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.- Mark Twain

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. – Aristotle

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say i- Voltaire

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance. – Samuel Johnson

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. – Mother Teresa

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity. – G.B. Shaw

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. – Will Durant

On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Quality is not an act

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Grim Cris

Quality is not an act, it is a habit – Aristotle

Courage Quotes

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Grim Cris

1. Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose. – Tom Krause

2. The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. – Sven Goran Eriksson

3. The key to change… is to let go of fear. – Rosanne Cash

4. If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. – Win Borden

5. A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for. – William Shedd

6. Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful. – Mark Victor Hansen

7. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. – Mark Twain

8. Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. – Winston Churchill

9. Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

10. Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience. – Paulo Coelho

11. You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. – Aristotle

12. One determined person can make a significant difference; a small group of determined people can change the course of history. – Sonia Johnson

13. Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win. – Bernadette Devlin

Back to School Quotes

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Grim Cris

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ~Erma Bombeck

Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. ~Bill Dodds

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. ~Sydney J. Harris

You send your child to the schoolmaster, but ’tis the schoolboys who educate him. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do. ~Margaret Laurence

The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which Archimedes would have given his life. ~Ernest Renan, Souvenirs d’enfance et de jeunesse, 1883

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey

The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives. ~Robert Maynard Hutchins

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. ~Author Unknown

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. ~Lily Tomlin as “Edith Ann”

The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book. ~Author Unknown

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. ~Author Unknown

There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August. ~Author Unknown

The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder. ~Ralph W. Sockman

What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. ~George Bernard Shaw

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. ~Aristotle

A professor is someone who talks in someone else’s sleep. ~W.H. Auden

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ~Author Unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she’s looking at. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. ~Robert Gallagher

It doesn’t make much difference what you study, as long as you don’t like it. ~Finley Peter Dunne

You can get all A’s and still flunk life. ~Walker Percy

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. ~Albert Einstein

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. ~Attributed to both Andy McIntyre and Derek Bok

Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. ~Edward Everett

He who opens a school door, closes a prison. ~Victor Hugo

Life changing quotes

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Grim Cris

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” – Unknown

“Change in all things is sweet.” – Aristotle

“Life itself is the proper binge.” – Julia Child

“A strong oak is just a nut that stood fast.” – Unknown

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

“Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.” – Unknown

“Change yourself, change your fortunes.” – Portuguese Proverb

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Kaiser Clark

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” – John Wooden

“In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.” – Author unknown

“Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

“First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” – Epictetus

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” – Buddha

“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we should dance.” – Unknown

“Amidst the worldly comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings.” – Tao Te Ching

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” – Chinese Proverb

”Promise yourself to live your life as a revolution and not just a process of evolution.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” – Indian saying

“Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be!” – Miguel de Cervantes

“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” – Andy Law

“Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn’t do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be Dont Ask What The Meaning What Life Is 300×300 Change your Life – Life changing Quotescareful lest you let other people spend it for you.” – Carl Sandburg

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them — every day begin the task anew.” – Saint Francis de Sales

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” – Nelson Mandela

Five Best Love Quotes

Posted on June 7, 2011 by Grim Cris

“If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.” – Unknown Author

“The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.” – Unknown

“I love you for everything that you say and do. I love you for the happiness I feel when you are beside me. I love you because when you are near, the whole world is meaningful.” – Unknown

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” -Aristotle

For you see, each day I love you more Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. ~Rosemonde Gerard

25 Motivational Quotes

Posted on June 5, 2011 by Grim Cris

1. Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you a man who will make history. Give me a man without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk. ~J.C. Penny

2. Success…seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton

3. Intolerance of your present creates your future. ~Mike Murdock

4. When they back the ‘hearse’ up to the front door, they are not making a practice run. ~Van Crouch

5. I can, therefore I am. ~Simone Weil

6. I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be. ~Ken Venturi

7. I’ve worked too hard and too long to let anything stand in the way of my goals. I will not let my teammates down and I will not let myself down. ~Mia Hamm

8. If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney

9. If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~Jim Rohn

10. It’s always too early to quit. ~Norman Vincent Peale

11. Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. ~Denis Waitley

12. No matter how many goals you have achieved, you must set your sights on a higher one. ~Jessica Savitch

13. One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interests. ~Peter Marshall

14. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. ~Kyle Chandler

15. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. ~Walter Elliot

16. Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life. ~Jimmy Dean

17. Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. ~Robert H. Schuller

18. Quality is not an act, it is a habit. ~Aristotle

19. Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way. ~Eileen Caddy

20. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. ~Tony Robbins

21. Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. ~Peter Marshall

22. The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. ~Mark Caine

23. The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. ~Thomas Paine

24. The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large. ~Confucius

25. The wise does at once what the fool does at last. ~Baltasar Gracian

Ideas Quotes

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Grim Cris

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one. – Albert Einstein

Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas. – Albert Einstein

Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple, and may, as a rule, be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone. – Albert Einstein

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. – Mark Twain

You do things when the opportunities come along. I’ve had periods in my life when I’ve had a bundle of ideas come along, and I’ve had long dry spells. If I get an idea next week, I’ll do something. If not, I won’t do a damn thing. – Warren Buffett

To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. – Thomas Jefferson

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones; to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong. – Thomas Jefferson

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. – John F. Kennedy

Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger’s skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas. – John F. Kennedy

“I don’t know exactly where ideas come from. It’s just a matter of us figuring out how to receive the ideas waiting to be heard.” – Jim Henson

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. – Coco Chanel

It is not once nor twice but times without number that the same ideas make their appearance in the world. – Aristotle

College isn’t the place to go for ideas. – Helen Keller

Or heritage and ideals, our code and standards – the things we live by and teach our children – are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings. – Walt Disney

At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the image is that they all come from the top – I’m afraid that’s not quite right. – Bill Gates

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. – Henry Ford

Great ideas originate in the muscles. – Thomas A. Edison

God screens us evermore from premature ideas. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around – the music and the ideas. – Bob Dylan

The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don’t like their rules, whose would you use? – Dale Carnegie