"When you are seventeen you aren’t really serious." – Arthur Rimbaud
"The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they’ve reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you’re just horny. It doesn’t mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten." – Jules Feiffer
"In the life of children there are two very clear-cut phases, before and after puberty. Before puberty the child’s personality has not yet formed and it is easier to guide its life and make it acquire specific habits of order, discipline, and work: after puberty the personality develops impetuously and all extraneous intervention becomes odious, tyrannical, insufferable. Now it so happens that parents feel the responsibility towards their children precisely during this second period, when it is too late: then of course the stick and violence enter the scene and yield very few results indeed. Why not instead take an interest in the child during the first period?" – Antonio Gramsci
"Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies, radio and TV. You get to understand that the glittering new arts of our civilization are directed to the teen-agers, and by their suffrage they stand or fall." – Max Lerner
"Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones run in packs like the primal horde. They have only a brief season of exhilarating liberty between control by their mothers and control by their wives." – Camille Paglia
"I would there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in the between but getting wenches with child, wronging the anciently, stealing, fighting." – William Shakespeare
"To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent." – Dave Barry
"I think we’re seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it’s Friday" to "Thank God it’s Monday." If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent." – Ann Diehl
"People want you to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable, just like them. They don’t want heroes; what they want is to see you fall." – Leonardo DiCaprio
"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." – Dave Barry
- “Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” – Norman Vincent Peale
- “Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
- “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” – Roy L. Smith
- “Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” – Mary Ellen Chase
- “I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.” – Charles Dickens
- “Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year – and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.” – W.J. Cameron
- “The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” – Burton Hillis
- “Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!” – Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836
- “There has been only one Christmas – the rest are anniversaries.” – W.J. Cameron
- “A Christmas gambol oft could cheer
The poor man’s heart through half the year.” – Walter Scott
- “Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder
- “May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!” – Unknown
- “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens
- “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas
- “Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.” – Washington Irving
- “Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for – I don’t know what exactly, but it’s something that you don’t mind so much not having at other times.” – Kate L. Bosher
- “Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself.” – Francis C. Farley
- “It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” – W.T. Ellis
- “For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home.” – W.J. Ronald Tucker
- “Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age.” – Carrie Latet
- “Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.” – Richard Lamm
- “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!” – Hamilton Wright Mabie
- “Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” – Unknown
- “Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others is good you do yourself…” – Norman Wesley Brooks, “Let Every Day Be Christmas,” 1976
- “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn
- “In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” – Dave Barry, “Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”
- “Remember
This December,
That love weighs more than gold!” – Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon
- “I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays – let them overtake me unexpectedly – waking up some find morning and suddenly saying to myself: «Why, this is Christmas Day!» ” – David Grayson
- “A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.” – Eva Logue
- “I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.” – Dave Barry
- “Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.” – Shaquille O’Neal
- “The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about manic depression, she asked, ‘How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?’ A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, ‘A basketball coach?’” – Old Basketball Joke
- “Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It’s up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.” – Bill Walton
- “These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” – Charles Barkley
- “This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn’t have spectators.” – Dick Vertleib
- “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.” – Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice
- “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.” – Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player
- “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?” – Woody Allen
- “I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.” – Shaquille O’Neal
- “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.” – Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record in 1992
- “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.” – Weldon Drew
- “There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.” – Abe Lemons
- “We’re shooting 100 percent – 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.” – Norm Stewart
- “That’s a terrible defensive effort by Robert Horry. He didn’t even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score.”
Snapper: “Well, what do you expect? Earlier you said that Wallace could be one of the best players in the game, and now you want Robert Horry to guard him one-on-one?”
Bill: “No, I said that Rasheed could be the best player in the game.” – Bill Walton & Snapper Jones
- “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry
- “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, «It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.»” – Jack Handy
- “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer!” – Homer Simpson
- “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Welhelm
- “Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” – Bruce Carlton
- “It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.” – Ernest Hemingway
- “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” – Ed O’Neill
- “He was a great man who invented beer” – Plato
- “I only drink beer on days that ends with «Y»” – Unknown