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A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him. – Elmer G. Letterman

Fix the problem, not the blame. – Catherine Pulsifer

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. – George Bernard Shaw

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. – Alexander Pope

Don’t make excuses… make good. – Elbert Hubbard

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. – Unknown Author

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult. – Plutarch

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. – Wayne Dyer

I praise loudly, I blame softly. – Catherine II of Russia

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2. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover – Mark Twain

3. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant – Robert Louis Stevenson

4. We don’t see things the way they are. We see them the way WE are – Talmud

5. I have found that if you love life, life will love you back – Arthur Rubinstein

6. The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be – Marcel Pagnol

7. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao Tzu

8. Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive – Howard Thurman

9. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better – Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like – Will Rogers

11. I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been – Wayne Gretzky

12. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional – Anony-mouse

13. Every man dies. Not every man really lives – William Ross Wallace

14. Life isn’t a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘Woohoo WHAT A RIDE’! – Unknown

15. There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle – Albert Einstein

16. Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security – John Allen Paulos

17. You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor should you feel the world must live up to yours – F Perl

18. How you do one thing, is how you do everything. Be aware. – Unknown

19. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing – Helen Keller

20. Life is not about kissing ass, it’s about kicking ass! – Unknown

21. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it – Henry David Thoreau

22. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself – Harvey Fierstein

23. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are – John Wooden

24. In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away – Shing Xiong

25. Breathe. It’s just a bad day. Not a bad life – Unknown

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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ~Erma Bombeck

Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. ~Bill Dodds

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. ~Sydney J. Harris

You send your child to the schoolmaster, but ’tis the schoolboys who educate him. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do. ~Margaret Laurence

The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which Archimedes would have given his life. ~Ernest Renan, Souvenirs d’enfance et de jeunesse, 1883

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey

The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives. ~Robert Maynard Hutchins

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. ~Author Unknown

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. ~Lily Tomlin as “Edith Ann”

The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book. ~Author Unknown

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. ~Author Unknown

There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August. ~Author Unknown

The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder. ~Ralph W. Sockman

What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. ~George Bernard Shaw

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. ~Aristotle

A professor is someone who talks in someone else’s sleep. ~W.H. Auden

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ~Author Unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she’s looking at. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. ~Robert Gallagher

It doesn’t make much difference what you study, as long as you don’t like it. ~Finley Peter Dunne

You can get all A’s and still flunk life. ~Walker Percy

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. ~Albert Einstein

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. ~Attributed to both Andy McIntyre and Derek Bok

Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. ~Edward Everett

He who opens a school door, closes a prison. ~Victor Hugo

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Almost all the other fellows do not look from the facts to the theory but from the theory to the facts; they cannot get out of the network of already accepted concepts; instead, comically, they only wriggle about inside. — Albert Einstein (in a letter to Erwin Schrödinger, August 8, 1935)

Voting in a democracy makes you feel powerful, much as playing the lottery makes you feel rich. — Mencius Moldbug

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. — Philip K. Dick

If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you’ll be fired with enthusiasm. — Vince Lombardi (US football coach, 1913-1970)

If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? — John Wooden

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spent the first four sharpening the axe. — Abraham Lincoln

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily. — Zig Ziglar

Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Geniuses remove it. — Alan Perlis

Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. — Mark Twain

I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s forward. — David Livingstone

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. — Albert Camus

I don’t like work–no man does–but I like what is in the work,–the chance to find yourself. Your own reality–for yourself, not for others–what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means. — Joseph Conrad

The language of friendship is not words, but meanings. — Henry David Thoreau

Man is surely mad. He cannot make a worm; yet he makes Gods by the dozen. — Michel de Montaigne

Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. — John Maxwell

You wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think if you knew how seldom they do. — Minutes from the Association of Iron and Steel Engineers, 1961

Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. — John Steinbeck

Jack of all trades, master of none, though oftentimes better than master of one. — Geffray Mynshul (Essays and Characters of a Prison, 1612)

Where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise. — Thomas Gray (Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College, 1742)

There’s an old saying about those who forget history. I don’t remember it, but it’s good. — Stephen Colbert

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw

It is here that we encounter the central theme of existentialism: to live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. — Victor Frankl

The wisest men follow their own direction. — Euripides

Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world. — The Buddha

If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup. — Turkish Proverb

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. — Galileo Galilei

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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating… and you finish off as an orgasm. – George Carlin

Truth, in its struggles for recognition, passes through four distinct stages. First, we say it is damnable, dangerous, disorderly, and will surely disrupt society. Second, we declare it is heretical, infidelic and contrary to the Bible. Third, we say it is really a matter of no importance either one way or the other. Fourth, we aver that we have always upheld it and believed it. – Elbert Hubbard

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. – Voltaire

My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. – Thomas Paine

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. – Louis Hector Berlioz

Once the game is over, the King and the Pawn go back in the same box. – Italian Proverb

I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. – Carl Sagan

Which is it, is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s? – Nietzsche

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. – Napoleon

The ink of the scholar is holier than the blood of the martyr. – Prophet Muhammad

I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. – Mohandas Gandhi

Lighthouses are more helpful then churches. – Benjamin Franklin

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. – George Bernard Shaw

Morality is doing what is right regardless of what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, regardless of what is right. – Anonymous

It is always darkest just before the day dawneth. – Thomas Fuller, 1650

Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. – Unknown

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2. The most important things in life aren’t things. – Anthony J. D’Angelo

3. And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

4. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth. – Mark Twain

5. Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever. – Keri Russell

6. Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. – James Dean

7. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson

8. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. – Maya Angelou

9. May you live every day of your life. – Jonathan Swift

10. If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. – Win Borden

11. Where there is love there is life. – Gandhi

12. For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

13. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

14. The purpose of life is to fight maturity. – Dick Werthimer

15. I don’t want to live. I want to love first, and live incidentally. – Zelda Fitzgerald

16. Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think. – Horace

17. In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

18. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. – Walter Bagehot

19. Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be! – Miguel de Cervantes

20. Read in order to live. – Gustave Flaubert

21. If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. – Emily Dickinson

22. Life is good, without it we’d all be dead. – Unknown

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His mouth is a no-go area. It’s like kissing the Berlin Wall – Helena Bonhem Carter on Woody Allen

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. – Henry Kissinger

He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard. – Unknown

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstien, but with the attention span of Daffy Duck. – Tom Shale on Robin Williams

If I found her floating in my pool, I’d punish my dog. – Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono

God does not play dice with the universe. – Albert Einstien

She is as wholesome as a bowl of cornflakes and at least as sexy. – Dwight McDonald on Doris Day

If you can’t convince them, confuse them. – President Harry S Truman

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. – W C Fields

He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker. – S J Perelman on Groucho Marx

Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon. – Abbey Hoffman

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder? – Don Rickles

Breasts like Granite and a brain like Swiss Cheese – Billy Wilder on Marilyn Monroe

The thief of bad gags. – Walter Winchell on Milton Berne

I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born – Ronald Reagan

He’s proof that there’s life after death. – Mort Sahl on Ronald Reagan

The only genius with an IQ of 60. – Gore Vidal on Andy Warhol

He’s so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund. – Muhammad Ali on Joe Frazier

She’s so stupid she returns bowling balls because they’ve got holes in them. – Joan Rivers on Bo Derek

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. – Bob Wells

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little. – Screen Tester on Fred Astaire

An empty suit that goes to funerals and plays golf. – Ross Perot on Dan Quayle

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. – Rex Reed on Marlon Brando

He could start a row in an empty house – Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise

When Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize, what is there left for satire? – Tom Lehrer on Henry Kissinger

Shaw writes his plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve. – George Nathan on George Bernard Shaw

He is to acting what Liberace was to pumping iron. – Rex Reed on Sylvester Stallone

What makes him think a middle aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics? – Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood’s bid to become mayor of Carmel

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. – Shakespeare

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Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then, I repeat myself. ~Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ~Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. ~G. Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. ~James Bovard, (Civil Libertarian, 1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. ~Douglas Casey *Bill Clinton’s Classmate at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ~P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. ~Frederic Bastiat, French Economist, 1801-1850

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.~Ronald Reagan 1986

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! ~P.J. O’Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. ~Voltaire 1764

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you! ~Pericles 430 B.C.

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. ~Mark Twain 1866

Talk is cheap except when Congress does it. ~Unknown

The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. ~Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. ~Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. ~Herbert Spencer English Philosopher 1820-1903

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class …save Congress. ~Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. ~Edward Langley Artist,1928-1995

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. ~Thomas Jefferson

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