- “By taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so happy as a married man, that he wishes to be so a second time.” – Samuel Johnson
- “Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy. ” – Voltaire
- “If you want to be happy, be.” – Leo Tolstoy
- “When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” – Albert Einstein
- “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” – Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens
- “A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.” – Mother Teresa
- “Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigler
- “Our happiness is greatest when we contribute most to the happiness of others.” – Harriet Shepard
- “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius
- “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” – G. K. Chesterton
- “There are no great things, only small things with great love. Happy are those.” – Mother Teresa
- “I have no name: I am but two days old. What shall I call thee? I happy am, Joy is my name. Sweet joy befall thee!” – William Blake
- “I have no use for people who throw their weight around as celebrities, or for those who fawn over you just because you are famous.” – Walt Disney
- “In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” – Andy Warhol
- “My idea of a good picture is one that’s in focus and of a famous person.” – Andy Warhol
- “I’m bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is «In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.»” – Andy Warhol
- “I didn’t know what to expect from a famous movie star; maybe that he’d be sort of stuck-up, you know. But not Gary Cooper. He horsed around so much… that I had a hard time painting him.” – Norman Rockwell
- “Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don’t have to be anything else.” – Orson Welles
- “Public misbehavior by the famous is a powerful teaching tool.” – Bill O’Reilly
- “What a heavy burden is a name that has become too famous.” – Voltaire
- “The first pork-barrel bill that crosses my desk, I’m going to veto it and make the authors of those pork-barrel items famous all over America.” – John McCain
- “Know the names of past and current artists who are most famous for playing their instruments.” – Marilyn vos Savant
- “A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.” – P. J. O’Rourke
- “When I started out, I didn’t have any desire to be an actress or to learn how to act. I just wanted to be famous.” – Katharine Hepburn
- “I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.” – Stephen Colbert
- “When I was going for my graduate degree, I decided I was going to make a feature film as my thesis. That’s what I was famous for-that I had my thesis film be a feature film, which was You’re a Big Boy Now.” – Francis Ford Coppola
- “We all want to be famous people, and the moment we want to be something we are no longer free.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
- “Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.” – Jerry Lewis
- “Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous. That’s easy. It’s getting laid when you’re not famous that takes some talent.” – Kevin Bacon
- “Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.” – Jeff Foxworthy
1. “Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back” – Unknown
2. “Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” – Unknown
3. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Unknown
4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
5. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson
6. “I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Whitney Brown
7. “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein
8. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop, the other one is carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.” – Jerry Seinfeld
9. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like «Psychic Wins Lottery» ?” – Jay Leno
10. “One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” – George W. Bush
11. “Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.” – Al Bundy
12. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” – Albert Einstein
13. “My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
14. “Gas is getting so expensive I’m gonna ride a mexican to work.” – Chris Rock
15. “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.” – Jerry Seinfeld
16. “Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.” – John Peers
17. “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” – Steve Martin
18. “Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.” – Lyndon B. Johnson
19. “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” – Bill Cosbey
20. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – George Carlin
21. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
22. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” – Mark Twain
23. “If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life.” – Tommy Lasorda
24. “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” – Steven Wright
25. “You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.” – Homer J. Simpson
26. “Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.” – Voltaire
27. “When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.” – Burt Reynolds
28. “Absence — that common cure of love.” – Miguel De Cervantes
29. “Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson
30. “It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.” – Weinberg
31. “As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.” – Socrates
32. “A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.” – Helen Rowland
33. “Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.” – Cordel Hull
34. “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” – Winston Churchill
35. “There are three faithful friends — an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” – Benjamin Franklin
36. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate.” – Franklin P. Jones
37. “All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific.” – Jane Wagner
38. “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not «Eureka!» (I found it!) but «That’s funny …» ” – Isaac Asimov
39. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
40. “Doing nothing is very hard to do … you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
41. “The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” – Robert Frost
42. “The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
43. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie
44. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx
45. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” – Mae West
46. “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
47. “Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” – George Bernard Shaw
48. “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” – Woody Allen
49. “All women are good – good for nothing, or good for something.” – Miguel De Cervantes
50. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
- “Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” – George S. Patton
- “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” – St. Clement of Alexandra
- “We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.” – Thornton Wilder
- “The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” – Arthur C. Clarke
- “Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant, they is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.” – Johann Gottfried Von Herder
- “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
- “Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.” – Voltaire
- “Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.” – Benjamin Disraeli
- “You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.” – Unknown
- “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost
- “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” – William B. Sprague
- “Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.” – Samuel Johnson
- “Fortune favors the brave.” – Publius Terence
- “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius
- “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein
- “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- “We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.” – Winston Churchill
- “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” – Matthew Prior
- “Constant dripping hollows out a stone.” – Lucretius
- “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose – a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.” – Mary Shelley