- “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
- “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” – Carrie Snow
- “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” – Cindy Crawford
- “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.” – Laurence J. Peter
- “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” – Unknown
- “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” – Arnold Haultain
- “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton
- “Women are always beautiful.” – Ville Valo
- “The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” – Ellery Queen
- “Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.” – Mae West
- “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” – Nicole Hollander
- “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” – Unknown
- “Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.” – Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly
- “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey Mitchell Depew
- “The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” – Elizabeth Metcalf
- “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine K. Albright
- “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde
- “There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” – Harold Robbins
- “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” – Unknown
- “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” – Quentin Crisp
- “The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.” – Germaine Greer
- “Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.” – Ovid
- “Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ‘em to match the men.” – George Eliot, “The Harvest Supper”, Adam Bede
- “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields
- “Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.” – Doctor Leon
- “Some people develop a wish bone where their back bone should be.” – Unknown
- “Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat down the door.” – Unknown
- “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce
- “Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.” – W. C. Fields
- “Success comes in cans, failure in can’ts.” – Unknown
- “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” – Earl Nightingale
- “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke
- “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
- “The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” – Al Neuharth
- “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Unknown
- “We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory.” – Cicero
- “Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom.” – Euripides
- “They can because they think they can.” – Virgil
- “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
- “Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” – Theodore T. Hunger
- “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
- “The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” – Frank Loyd Wright
- “A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience.” – Elbert Hubbard
- “There is only one success–to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley
- “The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.” – Aristotle Onassis
- “The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and the exercise of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed in these two: common-sense and perseverance.” – Owen Feltham
- “Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving.” – Dennis Waitley
- “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.” – Vince Lombardi
- “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody.” – Herbert Bayard Swope
- “Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.” – Josh Billings
- “The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” – Earl of Beaconsfield
- “Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration.” – Evan Esar
- “The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.” – Richard Brinsley Sheridan
- “If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.” – Jospeph Addison
- “Impatience never commanded success.” – Edwin H. Chapin
- “The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do, well.” – Henry W. Longfellow
- “To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.” – Shakespeare
- “Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.” – Albert Einstein
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” – W.C. Fields