1. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
2. Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
3. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
4. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
5. I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of wich actually happened.
6. Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.
7. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
8. Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
9. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
10. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.