- “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” – Tim Allen
- “The more I know about men the more I like dogs.” – Gloria Allred
- “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.” – Jean Kerr
- “Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
- “I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance — a sharp, vindictive glance.” – James Thurber
- “Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” – Oscar Wilde
- “The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” – Jeanne-Marie Roland
- “On the one hand, we’ll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.” – Bruce Willis
- “Why can’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them!” – Kathy Lette
- “Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.” – Kathy Lette
- “Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.” – Kathy Lette
- “Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.” – Will Rogers
- “Man has will, but woman has her way.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

One Response to Funny Men Quotes

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