“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you a member of Congress, but I repeat myself." – Mark Twain

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." – A. B. Evans

“You don’t say civilization don’t advance – for every war they kill you a new way." – Will Rogers

“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use." – Colin Jarman

“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise." – Anonymous

“A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn’t like" – Anonymous

“I love criticism just as long as it’s unqualified praise." – Noel Coward

“A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself, but he is never able to find them." – Richard Le Gallienne

“The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read." – Oscar Wilde

“When an opera singer sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance." – Victor Borge

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest." – Roseanne Arnold

“The power with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech." – George Bernard Shaw

“I know she is outspoken, but by who?" – Dorothy Parker

“You don’t know a woman, until you’ve met her in court." – Norman Mailer

“Women are like elephants to me; they’re nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one." – W.C. Fields

“Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friends." – Marcel Achard

“A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain." – Anonymous

“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."- Charlotte Whitton

“A man’s love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished." – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Adam came first, but men always do." – Anonymous

“If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there?" – Anonymous

“Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. Everything they do." – Anonymous

“Japanese are extremely good imitators and they so polite, they even copy the mistakes." – Earl Scrugge

“If you’re gong to Paris you would do well to remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French." – Fran Lebowits

17 Responses to Funny Sarcastic Quotes

  1. FIWQuotes says:

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  2. DepilexIsb says:

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  3. FIWQuotes says:

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  4. taduma says:

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  5. FIWQuotes says:

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  7. SavinzMantra says:

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  8. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by SavinzMantra, Friendship Quotes. Friendship Quotes said: I know she is outspoken, but by who? more #fiw #quotes: http://bit.ly/eKl0B6 [...]

  9. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Oyolola Oluwatadegbe, Friendship Quotes. Friendship Quotes said: The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest more #fiw #quotes: http://bit.ly/fWTPrK [...]

  10. FIWQuotes says:

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  11. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ronald Outlaw and Michael Sparxx, Friendship Quotes. Friendship Quotes said: Women are like elephants to me; they’re nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one more #fiw #quotes: http://bit.ly/hXI6XU [...]

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  14. GayeCrispin says:

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  15. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Gaye Crispin, Friendship Quotes. Friendship Quotes said: If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there? more #fiw #quotes: http://bit.ly/hG5awF [...]

  16. majorlyprofound says:

    RT @FIWQuotes: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone more #fiw #quotes: //www.friendship-quotes.info/funny-

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