There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. – Steven Wright

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. – Dave Barry

It’s hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women. – Scott Adams

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. – A Bit of Fry and Laurie

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the “Four F’s”: Fighting, fleeing, feeding and… mating. – Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. – Mark Twain

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. – William James

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? – Dick Cavett

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? – Unknown

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