Quote of the day
“Don’t make decisions when you’re angry. Don’t make promises when you’re happy.” – Unknown
Quick Marijuana Quote
“Marijuana is like sex, if I don’t do it every day, I get a headache” – Wille Nelson
Famous People Quotes #5
“Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.” – Albert Giacometti (sculptor)
“There’s a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I’m not there yet.” –Randy Pausch (1960-2008)
“It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” – Carl Sagan (1934-1996)
“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” – Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
“Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.” – Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.” – Frank Zappa
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” – Antoine de Saint Exupery
“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov
“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” – Carl Sagan (1934-1996)
“It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.” – G. B. Burgin
“Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” – Auric Goldfinger, in “Goldfinger” by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” – Jimi Hendrix
“A clever man commits no minor blunders.” – Goethe (1749-1832)
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.” – Richard Bach
“A witty saying proves nothing.” – Voltaire (1694-1778)
“Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.” – James Stephens (1882-1950)
“The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it’s their fault.” – Henry Kissinger (1923-)
“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.” – Will Durant
“I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.” – Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)
“It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.” – Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
“If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.” – Mario Andretti
“I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.” – Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford (1863-1947)
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” – Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.” – Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
“When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
If you… #3
– “If you have the desire, you are halfway there.” – E. Crique
– “If you have time to worry, you have time to pray.”
– “If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.”
– “If you judge people, you will have no time to love them.”
– “If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.” – Andrew Mason
– “If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.”
– “If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.”
– “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh
– “If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.”
– “If you love something set it free….If it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn’t than it was never meant to be.”
– “If you need time alone, try cleaning the house.”
– “If you only have the Word, you will dry up. If you only have the Spirit, you will blow up. But if you you have the Word and the Spirit, you will go up and grow up.”
– “If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.”
– “If you receive something that says “Send this to all your friends”, please consider me not your friend.”
– “If your vision doesn’t scare you, then both your vision and your God are too small.” – Brother Andrew
– “If you set the example, you won’t need to set many rules.” – Mama Zigler
– “If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.” – Andrew A. Rooney
– “If you step in a puddle, don’t blame the puddle.”
– “If you still have the courage after loosing all , you can be rest assured that you have not lost everything.”
– “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain
– “If you think it’s expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur.” Red Adair, when asked what his fee was for extinguishing oil well fires after the Gulf war.
– “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
– “If you think you are getting too much government these days, just be happy that you’re not getting all you are paying for.”
– “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” – Bette Reeves
– “If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is; if you treat him as he ought to be and could be, he will become as he ought to be and could be.” – Goethe
– “If you treat every situation like a life or death matter, be prepared to die a lot of times.”
– “If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.”
– “If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will.”
– “If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.” – Charles Haddon Spurgeon
– “If you want breakfast in bed, then start sleeping in the kitchen.”
– “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” – Abigail Van Buren
– “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.”
– “If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.”
– “If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.”
– “If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” – Chinese proverb
– “If you want something done, ask someone who is busy!”
– “If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane road.” – Charles Farr
– “If you want to be well liked never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.”
– “If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can’t buy.” – Robert Marlowe
– “If you want to play, practice.”
– “If you want to win, practice harder.”
– “If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.”
– “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?”
– “If you will always insist that you are right, people will think that there is something wrong with you.” – Melchor F. Cichon
– “If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people.” – Oriental Proverb
– “If you woke up this morning with more health than illness…you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.”
– “If you your lips would keep from slips,
Five things observe with care:
Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,
And how and when and where.”
Computers Quotes #2
– “The Internet is not just one thing, it’s a collection of things – of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language.” – Jim Clark
– “The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.” – Sydney J. Harris
– “Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.” – Jean Rostand
– “To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.” – Robert Orben
– “Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.” – Clifford Stoll
– “What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?” – Walter F. Mondale
– “Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?” – Clifford Stoll
If you… #2
– “If you can’t dance, don’t blame the dance floor.”
– “If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.”
– “If you can’t say something nice, become a reporter.”
– “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”
– “If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie
– “If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles in the backside, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for two weeks.”
– “If you decide not to choose then you’ve already made the wrong choice!”
– “If you depend on others to make you happy, you will be endlessly disappointed.”
– “If you don’t do it, you’ll never know what would have happened if you had done it.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
– “If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.”
– “If you don’t know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere.” – Henry Kissinger
– “If you don’t know where you’re going how do you expect to get there.”
– “If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. If you can’t change it, accept it.” – Ted Shackelford
– “If you don’t like the road you’re walking, pave another one.” – Dolly Parton
– “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
– “If you don’t love, you can’t live; if you don’t live, you can’t love.” – Jason Benson
– “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
– “If you don’t want your children to hear what you’re saying, pretend you’re speaking directly to them.”
– “If you do your best, don’t mind the rest.” – Irish Proverb
– “If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy but the mud will never get glovey.”
– “If you ever need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.”
– “If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.”
– “If you find a four-leaf clover, it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.”
– “If you follow in others footsteps you will never leave yours behind.”
– “If you gave me something I need more than you do, you’ve given me a gift; If you’ve given me something you need more than I do, you’ve gifted me with love.”
– “If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.”
– “If you give 100%, God will make up the difference!”
– “If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” – Zig Zigler
– “If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple.”
– “But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
– “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead, and a place to sleep…you are richer than 75% of this world.”
– “If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace…you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.”
– “If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.” – Arab proverb
– “If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” – Bette Davis
– “If you haven’t all the things that you want, be thankful for all the things that you don’t have that you didn’t want.”
– “If you haven’t much education you must use your brain.”
Computers Quotes
– “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Emo Philips
– “Bill Gates is the pope of the personal computer industry. He decides who’s going to build.” – Larry Ellison
– “Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” – Edsger Dijkstra
– “Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.” – Louis Gerstner
– “Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” – Pablo Picasso
– “Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” – Andy Rooney
– “Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.” – Nicholas Negroponte
– “Data is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom.” – Clifford Stoll
– “Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.” – Doug Larson
– “I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.” –
Dave Barry
– “I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.” – Isaac Asimov
– “I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.” – Stephen Hawking
– “I think it’s fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we’ve ever created. They’re tools of communication, they’re tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user.” – Bill Gates
– “Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.” – Steve Wozniak
– “Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.” – Isaac Asimov
– “People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.” – Adam Osborne
– “Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020.” – Ray Kurzweil
– “The computer is a moron.” – Peter Drucker
– “The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing.” – Douglas Engelbart
– “The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.” – Ted Nelson
Love Quote of the Day
“The shortest word I know is I. The sweetest word I know is Love. And the one I will never forget is You” – Unknown
If you…
– “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”
– “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”
– “If you are headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
– “If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.”
– “If you are not big enough to lose you are too small to win.”
– “If you are not enjoying your work, you should either change your attitude, or change your job.” – Leo Tolstoy
– “If you are not fired with enthusiasm, then you will be fired with enthusiasm.” – Vince Lombardi
– “If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.”
– “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” – Chinese Proverb
– “If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, you are all right.”
– “If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)
– “If you believe everything you read, don’t read” – Chinese proverb
– “If you came and you found a strange man teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you’d kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don’t think twice about it.” – Jerome Singer
– “If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death…you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.”
– “If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs and blaming it on you – perhaps you have underestimated the seriousness of the situation.”
– “If you can laugh with a person, you can work with a person.”
– “If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”
– “If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?” – Shantideva
– “If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning.”
– “If you can’t be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.”
– “If you can’t control the wind, adjust your sail.”
– “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman
Sarcastic Quotes
# Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
# The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
# It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
# Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
# Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
# Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
# If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
# Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
# If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
# Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
# If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
# If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
# Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
# Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
# The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
# A closed mouth gathers no foot.
# Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
# There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
# Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
# Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
# Never miss a good chance to shut up.