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Ben Stiller Quotes

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– “Even when I’m not directing, that doesn’t stop Owen from having ideas for what I should be doing.”
– “Fashion is so over the top.”
– “I don’t devalue comedy as compared to drama. Not one bit.”
– “I don’t have a burning desire to be taken seriously as an actor. I don’t have a master plan in that way.”
– “I don’t think know if anything’s going to translate anywhere. You’re making a movie, you hope it’s going to be funny, you can’t think about how it’s going to go over.”
– “I don’t think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time.”
– “I enjoy the work I do in comedies. It’s a valid test of your creative abilities.”
– “I grew up wanting to make movies, and along the way I suddenly found that I had a career doing comedy.”

– “I have a lot of nervous energy. Work is my best way of channelling that into something productive unless I want to wind up assaulting the postman or gardener.”

– “I just watched Paul Michael Glaser. He was the reason I wanted to do the movie because as a kid I was such a big fan of his. I watched all the episodes and tried to get a feeling for what he was doing.”

– “I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they’ve done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction.”

– “I think most politicians could take a dodgeball in the face.”

– “I think people will be curious to see what I can do as a dramatic actor.”

– “I would like to do more dramas when I find a good role that will allow me to politely upset people’s expectations of me as a comic actor.”

– “I’m always willing to endure humiliation on behalf of my characters.”

– “I’m not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.”

– “I’ve had a very good career and I’m grateful that the public has had some level of acceptance and appreciation of my work.”

– “If you look at my eyes when I’m dancing, you’ll see that glazed look.”

– “It was a mixed blessing to have famous parents. It was tough to go to auditions and be bad, since I couldn’t be anonymous.”

– “Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public’s desire for him to be funny simply because he’s so good at it.”

Quotes about Women

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– “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher

– “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” – Carrie Snow

– “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” – Cindy Crawford

– “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.” – Laurence J. Peter

– “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” – Unknown

– “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” – Arnold Haultain

– “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton

– “Women are always beautiful.” – Ville Valo

– “The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” – Ellery Queen

– “Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.” – Mae West

– “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” – Nicole Hollander

– “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” – Unknown

– “Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.” – Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly

– “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey Mitchell Depew

– “The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” – Elizabeth Metcalf

– “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine K. Albright

– “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde

– “There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” – Harold Robbins

– “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” – Unknown

– “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” – Quentin Crisp

– “The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.” – Germaine Greer

– “Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.” – Ovid

– “Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ’em to match the men.” – George Eliot, “The Harvest Supper”, Adam Bede

– “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

– “Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.” – Doctor Leon

Laugh Quotes

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– “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

– “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ” – Jean Houston

– “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” – Unknown

– “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” – Henry Ward Beecher

– “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”, Saturday Night Live

– “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – Unknown

– “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

– “What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!” – Agnes Repplier

– “So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” – Gordon W. Allport

– “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge

– “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” – Yiddish Proverb

– “When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.” – Alan Alda

– “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish Proverb

– “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” – Bob Newhart

– “A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.” – Puzant Kevork Thomajan

– “There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.” – Françoise Sagan

– “I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, «Ain’t that the truth.»” – Quincy Jones

– “Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” – Henri Bergson

– “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.” – Max Eastman

– “A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.” – Raymond Hitchcock

– “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.” – Anna Fellows Johnston

– “No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.” – Thomas Carlyle, Sartor Resartus, Book I, chapter 4

– “You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.” – Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

– “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Whoever said “laughter is the best medicine” never had gonorrhea.” – Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl, “Robbed a Stoner Blind”, original airdate 16 November 2006

– “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.” – Ken Kesey

Morning Quotes

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– “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman

– “Lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it.” – Richard Whately

– “The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” – Jean Kerr, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, 1957

– “I’d like mornings better if they started later.” – Unknown

– “For what human ill does not dawn seem to be an alleviation?” – Thornton Wilder

– “Through the blackest night, morning gently tiptoes, feeling its way to dawn.” – Robert Brault

– “Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” – Elbert Hubbard

– “The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning – and the younger generation doesn’t think much of it either.” – John J. Welsh

– “If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters.” – Unknown

– “Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.” – Jean Giraudoux

– “The sun is but a morning star.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

– “There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” – Unknown

– “There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.” – Unknown

– “I can see the orange haze on the horizon as the morning exhales a yawn, and seems to be ready to rise.” – Jeb Dickerson

– “I have a “carpe diem” mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet.” – Joanne Sherman

– “Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.” – Josh Billings

– “The plans that I made when horizontal are working out now that I’m vertical.” – Betsy Cañas Garmon

– “Luxury is an ancient notion. There was once a Chinese mandarin who had himself wakened three times every morning simply for the pleasure of being told it was not yet time to get up.” – Argosy

– “One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast.” – Robert Brault

– “The sun has not caught me in bed in fifty years.” – Thomas Jefferson

– “I’ll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time.” – Emily Dickinson

– “To him whose elastic and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual morning.” – Henry David Thoreau

– “Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.” – Ambrose Bierce

– “No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.” – Robert Lynd

– “Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.” – William Feather

– “Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience – unless they are still up.” – Ellen Goodman

– “I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.” – Rita Rudner

Serj Tankian Quotes

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– “Civilization is a failure. We need to think what we can do together in love and peace.”
– “I’d rather let the music speak for itself.”
– “I’m not comfortable with just entertaining. Although I like entertaining, I also like bringing forward the truth of our times as minstrels used to in the old days.”
– “It’s probably a combination of personal and non-personal matters that have led us to where we are musically.”
– “People think our music’s very aggressive or angry or whatever, and it’s just the opposite, really… I like laughing. And I like being really calm before a show, and smiley.”
– “Pretending that we live doesn’t make us alive.”
– “The percentage of Americans in the prison system, has doubled since 1985.”

– “We first fought the heathens in the name of religion, then Communism, and now in the name of drugs and terrorism. Our excuses for global domination always change.”

Johnny Depp Quotes

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– “Am I a romantic? I’ve seen Wuthering Heights ten times. I’m a romantic.”
– “Anything I’ve done up till May 27th 1999 was kind of an illusion, existing without living. My daughter, the birth of my daughter, gave me life.”
– “As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too.”
– “France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they’ve forgotten all about it. I’m afraid that the American culture is a disaster.”

– “How many chances to you get to make a musical about a serial killer? The minute Tim Burton approached me, I was in.”

– “I am doing things that are true to me. The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled.”

– “I don’t pretend to be captain weird. I just do what I do.”

– “I guess I’m attracted to these off beat roles because my life has been a bit abnormal. The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled.”

– “I may have a feather duster down my pants.”

– “I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”

– “I remember in that red leisure suit I sort of felt like a Pizza Hut employee, and the white one was the ultimate, with the white turtleneck collar, that was the ultimate in bad taste.”

– “I think everybody’s nuts.”

– “I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you’re on it.”

– “I was ecstatic they re-named ‘French Fries’ as ‘Freedom Fries’. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.”

– “I’m an old-fashioned guy… I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.”

– “I’m not sure I’m adult yet.”

– “I’m shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it.”

– “If there’s any message to my work, it is ultimately that it’s OK to be different, that it’s good to be different, that we should question ourselves before we pass judgment on someone who looks different, behaves different, talks different, is a different color.”

– “If you catch me saying ‘I am a serious actor,’ I beg you to slap me.”

– “It’s all kinds of these profound things crashing on you when your child arrives into the world. It’s like you’ve met your reason to live.”

Buddha Quotes

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– “A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”
– “A jug fills drop by drop.”
– “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
– “All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.”
– “All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?”

– “Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.”

– “An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”

– “An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

– “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

– “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.”

– “Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.”

– “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

– “Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.”

– “Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice, more drunkards than thirst, and perhaps as many suicides as despair.”

– “Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.”

– “Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.”

– “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

– “Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

– “He is able who thinks he is able.”

– “He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.”

Discovery Quotes

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– “A big part of what I wanted to do with this character was go from when I was a boy and try and develop into a man, really try and play him as a man who is on this search, on a journey of personal, spiritual, political, social discovery.” – Orlando Bloom

– “A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.” – Albert Szent-Gyorgi

– “A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” – James Joyce

– “A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” – James Joyce

– “A poem in form still has to have voice, gesture, a sense of discovery, a metaphoric connection, as any poetry does.” – Robert Morgan

– “Almost all paleontologists recognize that the discovery of a complete transition is in any case unlikely.” – George G. Simpson

– “And of all illumination which human reason can give, none is comparable to the discovery of what we are, our nature, our obligations, what happiness we are capable of, and what are the means of attaining it.” – Adam Weishaupt

– “And with each day that passed, the gulf broadened and my isolation became more accentuated. In such a situation, the discovery that my experience was not unique, that it had also been that of other Spanish intellectuals, became very important for me.” – Juan Goytisolo

– “As soon as the news of the Cabot voyages reached the King of Portugal he arranged to send an expedition of discovery to the far north-west, perhaps to find a northern sea route to Eastern Asia.” – Harry Johnston

– “As the Nation’s primary supporter of research in the physical sciences, the DOE Office of Science led the way in creating a unique system of large-scale, specialized, often one-of-a-kind facilities for scientific discovery.” – Judy Biggert

– “As was to be expected, the discovery of the nervous apparatus of the salivary glands immediately impelled physiologists to seek a similar apparatus in other glands lying deeper in the digestive canal.” – Ivan Pavlov

– “Before the discovery of agriculture mankind was everywhere so divided, the size of each group being determined by the natural fertility of its locality.” – Arthur Keith

– “But I owe it to the subject to say, that it has long afforded me what philosophy is so often thought, and made, barren of – the fun of discovery, the pleasures of co-operation, and the satisfaction of reaching agreement.” – J. L. Austin

– “But I’m an adventurer. I like invention, I like discovery.” – Karlheinz Stockhausen

– “But if you want to know the truth, the weirdest thing that has happened has been my discovery that people who attend the conventions are filled with love.” – William Shatner

– “But the first the general public learned about the discovery was the news of the destruction of Hiroshima by the atom bomb. A splendid achievement of science and technology had turned malign. Science became identified with death and destruction.” – Joseph Rotblat

– “Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.” – Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

– “Doubt, the essential preliminary of all improvement and discovery, must accompany the stages of man’s onward progress. The faculty of doubting and questioning, without which those of comparison and judgment would be useless, is itself a divine prerogative of the reason.” – Albert Pike

Funny Motivational Quotes

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– “Some people develop a wish bone where their back bone should be.” – Unknown

– “Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat down the door.” – Unknown

– “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce

– “Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.” – W. C. Fields

– “Success comes in cans, failure in can’ts.” – Unknown

– “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” – Earl Nightingale

– “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke

– “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

– “The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” – Al Neuharth

– “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Unknown

Childhood Quotes

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– “There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.” – Elizabeth Lawrence

– “Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows.” – John Betjeman

– “Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now.” – William Wordsworth, “To a Butterfly”

– “Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.” – Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

– “We could never have loved the earth so well if we had had no childhood in it.” – George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss, 1860

– “Childhood is the most beautiful of all life’s seasons.” – Unknown

– “Childhood is a promise that is never kept.” – Ken Hill

– “Childhood is the fiery furnace in which we are melted down to essentials and that essential shaped for good.” – Katherine Anne Porter

– “There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” – Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory

– “When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood.” – Sam Ewing

– “In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in.” – Robert Brault

– “The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.” – Christopher Morley, To a Child

– “If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.” – Tom Stoppard

– “I’d give all wealth that years have piled,
The slow result of Life’s decay,
To be once more a little child
For one bright summer day.” – Lewis Carroll, “Solitude”

– “It is never too late to have a happy childhood.” – Tom Robbins

– “What we remember from childhood we remember forever – permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.” – Cynthia Ozick

– “The childhood shows the man
As morning shows the day.” – John Milton, Paradise Regained

– “Childhood is a short season.” – Helen Hayes

– “He carried his childhood like a hurt warm bird held to his middle-aged breast.” – Herbert Gold

– “Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath.” – Unknown

– “The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give.” – Ellen Glasgow

– “Old age lives minutes slowly, hours quickly; childhood chews hours and swallows minutes.” – Malcolm de Chazal