Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

Menu

Tag: bad memory

Funny Sentences and Funny Quotes

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Funny Quotes and Sayings

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they’re sexy.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You don’t need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Hospitality is making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

I scream the same way whether I’m about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

Funny Hater Quotes

Behind every bitch is a man that made her that way

I hate two faced people. It’s hard to decide which face to slap first.

Sweetie, if your going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve killed you three times.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

I love listening to lies, when I know the truth.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to not slap an idiot today…Amen

Does this dress make me look fat? No, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.

If anybody sends me anymore farmville requests, I will burn your crops and destroy your animals!

Never take back what you say, turn your back and walk away!

Drama is made for movies, not reality!

Drama, lies, tears…teenage years.

Sorry…I’m not Rihanna. I don’t love the way you lie.

Love me, hate me, just think, you’re thinking of me!

You talk it. We live it. You’re jealous. Admit it.

It’s not my fault your man wants me.

My name must taste good! It’s always in someone’s mouth

Save the drama for your mama!

If you don’t like me – who the hell cares!

People will always talk about you… might as well give them something to talk about

Keep talkin: you’re making me famous!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

If you don’t know me, THEN DON’T JUDGE ME! Nobody said you had to “love me”!

Speak well of your enemies – You were the one who made them!

To all you haters – Do what you do. I sure as hell ain’t gonna waste my time on YOU!

Hating on a certain name only gives them the fame.

Best Motivational Quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it. – Brian Vaszily

Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be. – Anonymous

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. – Jackson Brown

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. – Yogi Berra

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. – Henny Youngman

Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. – Brian Vaszily

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

God is dead – Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. – God

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. – Unknown

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. – Unknown

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Unknown

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time. – Charles Schulz

None of us is as dumb as all of us. – Unknown

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing. – Alexander Woollcott

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in. – Unknown

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. – William Mauldin

If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with not only a problem but also a possible solution to that problem, I’d have six dollars. – Brian Vaszily

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. – Unknown

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie

To do is to be. – Descartes

To be is to do. – Voltaire

Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra