Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Mark Twain Quotes

Today we celebrate Mark Twain’s birthday in our own, favorite way: sharing quotes. Let me show you some wonderful inspirational Mark Twain Quotes.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Mark Twain QuotesPatriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah… didn’t miss the boat.

Mark Twain Quotes #3

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven’t been done before.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.