1. If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. —Joe Martin
2. Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. —Ambrose Bierce
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken [...]
Give me a museum and I’ll fill it. – Pablo Picasso
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. – Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former – Albert Einstein
Don’t stay in bed, unless you [...]
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Unknown
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. – Will Rogers
A man in love is incomplete until he has [...]
1. Strive for progress, not perfection. -Unknown
2. You want me to do something… tell me I can’t do it. -Maya Angelou
3. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. -Wayne Gretzky
4. If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying. -Unknown
5. You live longer once you realize that any time [...]
“The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.” – John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)
“I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.” – E. E. Cummings (1894-1962)
“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.” – Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
“Assassins!” – Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to [...]
If I have a monument in this world, it is my son. – Maya Angelou
The sweetest roamer is a boy’s young heart. – George Edward Woodberry
Boys do not grow up gradually. They move forward in spurts like the hands of clocks in railway stations. – Cyril Connolly
Of all the animals, the boy [...]
Never work just for money or for power. They won’t save your soul or help you sleep at night. – Marian Wright Edelman
The best work never was and never will be done for money. – John Ruskin
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a [...]
- “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – George Burns
- “If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance.” – United Airlines Flight Safety Brochure
- “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.” – Homer Simpson
- “History [...]
Funny Clever Quotes
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain
I intend to live forever, or die trying. – Groucho Marx
Familiarity breeds [...]
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne H.
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” – Sam Levenson
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned [...]
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