Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Quotes

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. – Groucho Marx

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. – Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. – Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. – Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” – Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld

Funny QuotesA word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby

All men are equal before fish. – Herbert Hoover

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. – Casey Stengel

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. – Bill Cosby

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. – Groucho Marx

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. – Tracey Ullman

Be obscure clearly. – E. B. White

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. – P. J. O’Rourke

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey

Never Regret Quotes

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I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight. – Rabindranath Tagore

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. – The Buddha

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets. – Henry Kissinger

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone. – George Bernard Shaw

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. – Anonymous

My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. – Forrest Gump movie

I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence. – Publilius Syrus

I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end. – Drew Barrymore

Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart. – Basil Rathbone

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. – Katherine Mansfield

It’s better to regret something you did than to regret something you didn’t do. – Anonymous

Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence. – Will Henry

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. – Jim Carrey

Simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. – don Miguel Angel Ruiz

Speak when you are angry – and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret. – Laurence J. Peter

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country. – Nathan Hale

Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle, Old Age a regret. – Benjamin Disraeli

Regrets and recriminations only hurt your soul. – Armand Hammer

Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. – George Sand

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. – John Barrymore

What’s done is done. – William Shakespeare

For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, “It might have been”. – John Greenleaf Whittier

He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future. – Quevedo

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. – Oscar Wilde

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can’t build on it – it’s only good for wallowing in. – Katherine Mansfield

As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do. – Zachary Scott

Pain Quotes

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Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional. – Buddhist proverb

It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death. – Epictetus

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility. – Khalil Gibran

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. – The Buddha

Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. – Paul Tillich

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. – Jim Carrey

Friends share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. – Henri Nouwen

No pain, No gain. – Anonymous

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever. – Lance Armstrong (bicycle racer)

How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened. – Thomas Jefferson

My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain. – Tony Robbins

It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience. – Julius Caesar

When there is pain, there are no words. All pain is the same. – Toni Morrison

Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. – Joseph Campbell

Eddie Murphy Funny Quotes

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eddie-murphy– “I don’t think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does.”
– “I’d like to produce, direct, write, score, and star in a film in exactly the way Chaplin did. I’ll do that before I’m thirty.”
– “I’m 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I’m playing right where I’m supposed to be. I’m comfortable with that, but in the same breath I’d do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I’d do it.”
– “I’m relaxed about my career. I’ve been making movies for over 20 years, so I’ve earned at least the right to relax.”
– “I’ve always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.”

– “I’ve made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I’ve mostly been successful.”

– “If I don’t die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare opportunity to watch a great talent grow.”

– “In a movie like this, the relationship between the two guys is crucial. It sinks or swims on how these two guys are together. I think we did a good job.”

– “In the original script, my character was a basketball player rather than a boxer. I didn’t think I could pull that off. I’m a little short to be a basketball player!”

– “The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years. Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe, things can only get better for the Irish.”

– “The thing about kids is that they express emotion. They don’t hold back. If they want to cry, they cry, and if they are in a good mood, they’re in a good mood.”

– “You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don’t work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won’t work.”

Best Funny Quotes from Jim Carrey

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jim-carrey_1– “If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer!” – Jim Carrey
– “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
– “People need motivation to do anything. I don’t think human beings learn anything without desperation. ” – Jim Carrey
– “I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don’t know if it’s possible forever and ever.” – Jim Carrey
– “Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches.” – Jim Carrey
– “There is nothing like making love to somebody you give a shit about.” – Jim Carrey

– “I think I could go away tomorrow. I’ve already accomplished something. It’s such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.” – Jim Carrey

– “Either you’re the one erasing or you’re the one being erased.” – Jim Carrey

– “I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I’m just trying to create a good one for myself.” – Jim Carrey

– “My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.” – Jim Carrey

– “I got a lot of support from my parents. That’s the one thing I always appreciated. They didn’t tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.” – Jim Carrey

– “I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I’d love that. But I don’t need to be. I just want to be here. That’s it.” – Jim Carrey