Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Charles M. Schulz Quotes

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

“I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I’m in the wrong building.”

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”

“No problem is so formidable that you can’t walk away from it.”

“There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.”

“Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh ! There’s so little hope for advancement.”

Charles M Schulz Quotes“That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another…. ”

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?'”

“Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night”.”

Funny Quotes

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex. – Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you. – Jack Handey

I’ve developed a new philosophy…only dread one day at a time. – Charlie Brown

I might be in the basement. I’ll go upstairs and check.
We adore chaos because we love to produce order.
I don’t use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough. – M. C. Escher

Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don’t know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion. – Colonel Flagg

There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives. – Anon

I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. – Katherine Cebrian

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down. – Collis P. Huntingdon

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’d like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system. – Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. – Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. – Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.” – Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

If I ever get rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now. – Jack Handey

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then, on the way out, slam the door. – Jack Handey

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ‘That guy sure owed me a lot of money.’ – Jack Handey

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. – Anon

Funny Quotes

Best Motivational Quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it. – Brian Vaszily

Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be. – Anonymous

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. – Jackson Brown

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. – Yogi Berra

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. – Henny Youngman

Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. – Brian Vaszily

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

God is dead – Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. – God

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. – Unknown

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. – Unknown

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Unknown

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time. – Charles Schulz

None of us is as dumb as all of us. – Unknown

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing. – Alexander Woollcott

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in. – Unknown

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. – William Mauldin

If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with not only a problem but also a possible solution to that problem, I’d have six dollars. – Brian Vaszily

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. – Unknown

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie

To do is to be. – Descartes

To be is to do. – Voltaire

Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra