If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked [...]
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out?
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
“I never let schooling interfere with my education.”
“I have been complimented many times and they always [...]
“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain
“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.” – A. B. Evans
“You don’t say civilization don’t advance – for every war they kill you a new way.” – Will Rogers
Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. – Adrienne Gusoff
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
Women marry men hoping they will change.
* You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
* Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
* Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
* Talk is cheap, but that’s ok, so are you.
* If we killed [...]
# Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
# The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
# It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re [...]
“I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban
“I know [...]